If you are a man and are a born-again follower of Jesus Christ, then it is an absolute must that you lead your wife and children well. Being a husband and father who takes up the mantle of leadership in the home is an enormous responsibility, not to mention a role that is fraught with numerous challenges. However, with God’s guidance through Scripture and the support of the Holy Spirit, you can fulfill this role with grace and love. Here are several biblical ways for a Christian man to lead his wife and children betters:
You Must Lead with Love
The foundation of leading your wife and children is to lead with Christ-like love. Love is patient, kind, and does not envy or boast (1 Corinthians 13:4). As a Christian man, it is imperative to show your family members the love of Christ in your words and actions. Remember, if you are the head of the household, then they will look to you as the model of leadership. Take charge by your example, showing your family gentleness, grace, love, and kindness in all circumstances.
Seek God First
To lead your wife and children effectively, you must seek God first. In Matthew 6:33, Jesus says, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” When you prioritize your relationship with God, all the figurative puzzle pieces will fall into place, and you will have the wisdom and guidance you need to lead your family well.
Be the Spiritual Leader of Your Home
As the head of the household, a Christian man needs to be the spiritual leader of his home. This builds on what I said about displaying love in point number one. Being the spiritual leader entails that you take the reins of godly practices and execute them daily with your family. Lead your family in regular prayer, Bible reading, and worship.
And by all means, don’t leave it to your wife to take charge of taking your family to church every week. Be a man! YOU should be the one leading your spouse and kiddos on Sunday. They should see you setting the example joyfully and loudly sing worship hymns and songs to our Lord. You should be the one being attentive, with your Bible open and writing notes about the sermon. If you want your family be excited about Jesus, they should see you being that way first!
In Ephesians 5:25-28a, Paul says, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies…” [ESV] As Christ cleansed and sanctified His Christ, we must aid in the sanctification of our wives (along with our children), cherishing her and presenting her to Christ in a similar way He presents the Church to God the Father. By leading your family in spiritual matters, you demonstrate your love for them and help them to grow in their faith.
Model Self-Control and Discipline
Self-control and discipline are essential qualities for a Christian man to have as he leads his family. In 1 Corinthians 9:27, Paul says, “I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.” With the Holy Spirit’s help, you should eject slothfulness, gluttony, carelessness, vulgarity, anger, envy, lust, and other sins from your life. Get them under control! Model self-control and discipline in your own life, and encourage your family to do the same.
Lead with Humility
Finally, lead your wife and children with humility. In Philippians 2:3-4, Paul says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” Lead your loved ones by serving them, not by seeking to be served. Yes, as a man, you are the head of the family, but don’t do it while going on a selfish, abusive, harsh power trip. Again, model what Christ-like humility is.
In summary, leading your wife and children as a Christian man requires love, seeking God first, being the spiritual leader of your home, modeling self-control and discipline, and leading with humility. By following these principles and relying on the guidance of the Holy Spirit, you can be an effective and loving leader for your wife and kids.