Godly Husband, Strong Marriage: Six Steps to Captivate Your Wife’s Heart

Godly Husband, Strong Marriage: Six Steps to Captivate Your Wife’s Heart

godly-husband-strong-marriage-six-steps-to-captivate-your-wifes-heart-mens-ministryChristian men, please take note of this.

Marriage is a sacred covenant designed by God, and as Christian men, we are called to love our wives as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25). This love involves not just emotional and spiritual support but also being a strong and godly leader in the home.

One key aspect of a thriving marriage is understanding and nurturing your wife’s Interest Level in you. Interest level refers to the degree of attraction, respect, and admiration your wife feels towards you. When your wife’s Interest Level in you is high, she is more engaged, affectionate, and supportive. Or if the Interest Level drops, she will become disengaged, moody, and more critical of you.

Here are six ways to improve your marriage by increasing your wife’s interest in you as a strong man and leader in Christ.

1. Cultivate a Deep Relationship with God

The foundation of any strong Christian marriage is a deep relationship with God. When you prioritize your relationship with Christ, it sets a powerful example for your wife and family. A man who seeks God earnestly is naturally more attractive, as he exudes spiritual strength and wisdom.

Biblical Example: Jesus frequently retreated to pray and seek His Father’s will (Luke 5:16). By following His example, you demonstrate your commitment to God, which will naturally inspire respect and admiration from your wife, thereby increasing her Interest Level in you.

2. Lead with Humility and Love

Leadership in marriage is not about dominance or control; it’s about serving your wife with humility and love and is a visible example for her to follow. Jesus demonstrated the ultimate act of servant leadership by washing His disciples’ feet (John 13:1-17). In the same way, we should serve our wives selflessly. Leading with humility and love shows your wife that you value her, which raises her Interest Level in you.

Practical Steps:

  • Listen actively to your wife’s needs and concerns.
  • Help with household chores and responsibilities without complaining, and don’t expect “brownie points” for doing so.
  • Show appreciation and gratitude regularly.

Biblical Example: Ephesians 5:28-29 teaches us that husbands should love their wives as their own bodies, nurturing and caring for them. This kind of loving leadership will captivate your wife’s heart and increase her admiration and respect for you.

3. Communicate Openly and Honestly

Good communication is crucial in any relationship. Be open and honest with your wife about your thoughts, feelings, and plans. This builds trust and shows that you value her as an equal partner in your marriage. When your wife feels heard and understood, her Interest Level in you will naturally rise.

Practical Steps:

  • Set aside time each day for meaningful conversations.
  • Be transparent about your goals and struggles.
  • Encourage her to share her thoughts and listen without judgment.

Biblical Example: Proverbs 12:18 highlights the power of words, stating, “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts,
but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

4. Show Consistent STRONG Character and Integrity

A strong man and leader is someone who demonstrates consistent strong character and integrity. Your wife will be more interested in and attracted to you when she sees that you are dependable, honest, and morally upright. Consistency in character reassures her that you are trustworthy, thereby increasing her Interest Level in you.

Practical Steps:

  • Keep your promises and commitments.
  • Admit when you are wrong and seek forgiveness.
  • Live out your values in everyday actions.

Biblical Example: Joseph is a prime example of integrity. Despite facing numerous trials, he remained faithful to God and his principles (Genesis 39).

5. Invest in Your Physical, Mental, and Emotional Well-being

Yes, we should ultimately be concerned about taking care of the heart more than our outward appearance, as the Lord looks at the human heart (1 Samuel 16:7). But at the same time, women do not want a lazy couch potato who wants to spend every evening playing video games for hours on end. We should take care of our bodies, minds, and overall well-being.

Taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally is not only beneficial for you but also for your marriage. When you are healthy and holistic, you can better support and lead your family. A well-rounded, healthy man is naturally more appealing, which boosts your wife’s interest level in you.

Practical Steps:

  • Exercise regularly and maintain a healthy diet.
  • Engage in activities that promote mental and emotional health, such as hobbies, reading, or spending time with friends.
  • Seek help when needed, whether through counseling or pastoral support.

Biblical Example: The Apostle Paul emphasizes the importance of taking care of our bodies as temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

6. Be a Joyful and Confident Man

A joyful and confident man radiates positivity and strength, which can greatly increase your wife’s Interest Level in you. Cheerfulness and confidence come from knowing your identity in Christ and trusting in His plans for your life. While every person and every couple will go through struggles and have darker days than others, we as men are not to be constantly depressed, bitter, morose, whining, complaining, and being negative about everything. Let’s face it, who wants to constantly be around someone who’s griping all of the time and has no hope in the future?

Instead, we must be contagiously jubilant for each other as husband and wife. We must display absolute assurance and reliance upon Christ and His promises even when our temporal situations may erroneously lead us to think otherwise. When you approach life with a joyful heart and confidence in God’s provision, it’s attractive and inspiring to your wife.

Practical Steps:

  • Find joy in everyday moments and share that joy with your wife.
  • Pursue activities that build your confidence and align with your God-given talents.
  • Trust in God’s promises and let go of worries that diminish your joy.

Biblical Example: Nehemiah 8:10 reminds us that “the joy of the Lord is your strength.” David also exemplified confidence in God when he faced Goliath, trusting not in his own strength, but in God’s power (1 Samuel 17).

Want to Learn More?

mens ministry book warrior discipleIf you want to delve deeper into the concept of “Interest Level” and how it affects your marriage, check out Scott Roberts’ men’s ministry book, “Warrior Disciple,” available at http://www.warriordisciple.org This book covers this and many more heavy-duty topics on becoming fierce followers of Jesus Christ and provides practical advice for being a strong and godly leader in your home.

Grab a copy of Warrior Disciple, get together a few of your friends, and go all-out into being a devoted follower of the Lord Jesus Christ. By doing so, you can learn how to captivate your wife’s heart and build a marriage that glorifies God.


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