Leading a men’s ministry can feel like a big challenge – I’ve been there. You have probably wondered, How on earth do you get busy guys excited about church? How do you move beyond the token monthly pancake breakfast and really impact men’s lives? How do you get men to be committed to showing up and being regular disciple makers?
Luckily, we don’t have to figure it out alone. I’ve gathered five nuggets of wisdom from seasoned men’s ministry experts (think pioneers like Steve Sonderman and Patrick Morley) to help you build a ministry that truly thrives. These tips are practical, time-tested, and seriously encouraging. Let’s dive in!
1. Clarify Your Vision and Purpose
Know where you’re headed. A clear vision will rally men and guide your efforts. In fact, men’s ministry guru Patrick Morley suggests every ministry should define three key components to its vision:
- Internal Purpose Statement: A concise statement of what you’ll do and how you’ll do it (your mission and strategy).
- External Slogan: A public motto or tagline that makes other men think, “I want to be a part of that!”
- Elevator Speech: A 60-second explanation every leader can share about the ministry’s vision, why a man would want to get involved, and an invitation to take action.
Having these in place gives your team a united sense of direction. I remember reading Morley’s advice here and realizing our group’s “purpose” had been a bit fuzzy. Once we nailed down a purpose statement and a catchy slogan for our men’s ministry, it was like lighting a beacon – guys understood what we were about and felt drawn in. As Morley puts it, a compelling vision will make men say, “I want to be a part of that!”
2. Make Disciples, Not Just Workers
It’s easy to fall into the trap of just recruiting men to do stuff – stack chairs, cook chili, or do some gardening. While service is great, remember that your ultimate goal is to disciple men in Christ, not merely fill volunteer slots.
Patrick Morley learned this the hard way through his own father’s story. The church eagerly put Morley’s dad to work, but had “no vision to disciple him to be a godly man, husband, and father.” The result? His dad eventually “got burned out” and drifted away. Ouch.
The Great Commission calls us to “go and make disciples,” not “go and make workers.” Morley humorously warns that sometimes churches mix up the two. So, ensure your men’s ministry isn’t just about organizing events or maintaining church programs. Prioritize spiritual growth: help men walk with Jesus, learn Scripture, practice prayer, and build godly character.
When you invest in men’s hearts like that, they won’t burn out as easily – they’ll be fueled by a genuine relationship with Christ. One church leader told me, “If you disciple the men, the men will help build the church.” I’ve found that to be spot on.
3. Emphasize Relationships Over Programs
Want to know the secret sauce for impacting men? Authentic relationships. Steve Sonderman – one of the pioneers of men’s ministry – points out that while events like men’s breakfasts or golf outings “still have a place”, the most effective ministry is ultimately “relational rather than programmatic.”
Think about it: most men aren’t longing for another meeting on their calendar, but they are hungry for brotherhood. I’ve seen it in my own group – I started discipling a “fireteam” (a smaller group of around four guys), and the ministry deepened. Conversations got real. Trust grew.
Programs are fine, but they’re just the framework; the relationships are what fill it with meaning. As Sonderman’s experience at Elmbrook Church showed, motivating men to minister to each other is key. So plan those fun activities and Bible studies, yes, but always with the aim of men forming bonds and “doing life” together. Over time, a culture of genuine brotherhood will transform your ministry.
4. Always Provide a Next Step
Imagine you host a huge men’s conference or a killer wing night and a bunch of new guys show up. Success, right? But two weeks later…where are they?
Too often we inspire men at an event and then leave them hanging. The fix: always offer an immediate “next step” to keep men engaged.
The team behind the No Man Left Behind model (Man in the Mirror Ministries) emphasizes the importance of capturing momentum. In their words: “Always show men the right next step.” In fact, you should “never plan an activity without offering an immediate short-term follow-up opportunity.”
This could be as simple as ending your men’s breakfast by inviting everyone to a new four-week small group, or challenging guys at a retreat to pair up for weekly check-ins afterward. I’ve started doing this in my own ministry – every event tees up something else. We went from a once-a-month schedule to an ongoing journey. The difference was dramatic.
Men who came for the big event stuck around because they had somewhere to go next. Momentum matters, and it’s our job as leaders to guide men from one step to the next in their faith. Plan with the endgame in mind: what will you plug men into after the event hype? When you do this, you’ll see guys stay connected for the long haul.
5. Think Beyond the “Men’s Group”
When you hear “men’s ministry,” you might picture a group of guys at Saturday breakfast. But effective ministry to men is so much bigger than a once-a-week gathering. The experts urge us to adopt an “all-inclusive” mindset – to see every man in the church (and even the community) as under our care, not just those who attend official men’s events.
The “Man in the Mirror” team puts it this way: “They are ALL part of your ministry to men!… Instead of focusing on how many men you can get to your men’s-only events, strategize ways to help every ministry that touches men in your church disciple those men right where they are.”
In practice, that means collaborating with other ministries: encourage the ushers, the youth volunteers, the musicians – wherever men are serving or showing up – and equip those contexts to also be places of spiritual growth and camaraderie.
It also means meeting men where they are. Not all guys will come to a church event, and that’s okay. Maybe they’ll show up to a fishing trip, a basketball game, or a beer at the local diner with a few brothers. As Steve Sonderman says, “Ministry to men is on their time, their turf, and their agenda.”
Every interaction is an opportunity – or as Man in the Mirror puts it, “every interaction your church has with every man” has Kingdom potential. When we expand our thinking beyond the silo of the “men’s group,” we start to see ministry moments all around.
Remember, the ripple effect is huge. As Patrick Morley famously challenged, how can we hope to get society right if we don’t get the church right – and how can we get the church right if we don’t first get men right? When you invest in men holistically, you’re also investing in healthier marriages, stronger families, and ultimately stronger churches.
Conclusion
These five tips are a starting point from folks who’ve dedicated decades to reaching men. Clarify your vision, focus on discipleship, build real relationships, keep the momentum going, and broaden your reach.
I’m writing this as much to remind myself as to encourage you. Men’s ministry is totally worth it – I’ve seen marriages saved, addictions overcome, and lonely guys find purpose when Christ grabs hold of them in the context of a strong men’s community.
Be encouraged that your work with men matters immensely. Take these expert insights and run with them in your own style. Pray hard, love your guys, and don’t lose heart. With God’s help and some wisdom from those who’ve gone before, you can build a men’s ministry that truly changes lives. Good luck – you’ve got this!
Sources:
- Patrick Morley, No Man Left Behind (Man in the Mirror Ministries)
- Steve Sonderman, How to Build a Life-Changing Men’s Ministry
- Man in the Mirror Ministries, No Man Left Behind Model
Equip the Men in Your Ministry to Be Warriors for Christ
Warrior Disciple: Discipleship Manual for Men is a bold, boots-on-the-ground resource for any men’s ministry or small group. It challenges men to rise above passivity and start living out their faith with conviction – in their homes, in their churches, and in their everyday lives.
If you’re leading men, this is a tool that can help them grow into the leaders, husbands, and fathers God has called them to be.
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