I know that there is a particular kind of clarity about life that only comes with time. It is not the clarity of having everything figured out, but the clarity that comes from seeing what mattered, what did not, and what quietly shaped your life while you were busy looking elsewhere.

This article may or may not be written with specific young adults in mind, but I can declare with certainty that I’ve written to every young Christian standing at the beginning of adulthood, full of energy and confidence, yet carrying confusion and far more influence from the world than they realize. I believed a great deal of these things at 18. What I lacked was obedience, consistency, and urgency. That cost me years.

I also write this as a father. I should have pressed this counsel deeper, earlier, and more consistently into the lives of my two boys, who are now in their twenties. I spoke many of these truths, but I wish I had slowed down more, emphasized them more clearly, and trusted less in time to do what intentional discipleship was meant to do.

So, as a pastor, father, mentor, or any other kind of role I could come from; if I could sit across the table from you as a young adult, here is what I would tell you.

Take God Seriously While You Are Still Young

Do not treat God as a future concern.

Many young Christians believe in Jesus but live as though full obedience can wait. Career first. Relationships first. Experiences first. God later. Scripture warns directly against this mindset. “Remember your Creator in the days of your youth” is not a suggestion. It is wisdom born from watching people waste their early years and spend the rest of their lives trying to recover spiritual ground (Ecclesiastes 12:1).

You will never be more energetic, more flexible, or more free than you are right now. If Christ does not hold first place now, He will always be competing with something later (Matthew 6:33).

I believed the Gospel early. I delayed obedience. That delay came with consequences (Galatians 6:7-8). So don’t fall into lukewarmness or apathy. Give your whole body, mind, soul, and heart to Christ now.

MAKE JESUS YOUR FIRST LOVE

It is possible to believe true things about Jesus without actually loving Him first.

Many young Christians do not reject Christ. The problem is that they place Him alongside other priorities. Jesus can be one of many “important” things in their life, but not central as the total King, Lord, and Master. Some act as if He can be present, but not preeminent. That was never the call. Christ does not ask to be added to your life, like one puzzle piece among many. He calls you to completely build your life around Him.

Jesus warned the church at Ephesus that they were doing many things right while missing what mattered most. They had abandoned their first love (Revelation 2:4). Right beliefs without deep affection eventually turn faith into routine.

Making Jesus your first love means He gets first claim on your time, your obedience, and your future. It means learning to say, “Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides You” (Psalm 73:25).

You will love something most. Decide early that Christ will not be one priority among many, but the center of everything else (Matthew 6:21).

FEAR GOD AND PURSUE WISDOM

Do not confuse fearing God with being afraid of Him.

The fear of the Lord is not terror, but reverent submission. It is the settled awareness that God is holy, present, and not to be treated casually. Scripture says plainly that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom (Proverbs 9:10). Without it, knowledge becomes pride and confidence turns into folly.

Seek wisdom early. Ask for it. Listen for it. Submit to it. God delights to give wisdom to those who know they need it (James 1:5).

Build Your Life on the Gospel, Not on Feelings

Your feelings are unreliable narrators or indicators.

Feelings rise and fall with sleep, stress, temptation, struggles, disappointment, and praise. Your standing with God does not fluctuate with your emotional state. You are justified by faith, not by intensity or consistency. That truth should anchor you (Romans 5:1; Ephesians 2:8-9).

When you feel close to God, cling to Christ. When you feel far from God, cling to Christ. Feelings are not the measure of faithfulness. The finished work of Jesus is (Romans 8:1; Hebrews 10:14). He always has you.

If you build your spiritual life on how you feel, you will burn out or drift away. Build it on what Christ has done, and obedience will follow with steadiness (Colossians 2:6-7).

Read the Bible Constantly and Let It Shape You

Do not wait for motivation. Read Scripture anyway.

Scripture is not always exciting, but it is always formative. The Bible does not simply inform you. It trains you. It corrects your instincts. It reshapes your thinking before the world finishes doing it for you (2 Timothy 3:16-17; Romans 12:2).

Most young Christians do not reject the Bible. They simply neglect it. Over time, neglect produces confusion. Confusion produces compromise (Hosea 4:6).

Read the Word daily. Read it when it feels powerful. Read it when it feels ordinary. Read it until it becomes the vocabulary of your conscience (Psalm 1:1-3; Joshua 1:8).

Don’t wait until you “have more time.” Make time now. Don’t try to “fit it in” your schedule, hoping to squeeze a few minutes of Scripture time in your day. Instead, schedule the rest of your day around Bible-reading time. Seriously. Do that now.

Read, read, read. Know it from Genesis 1:1 to Revelation 22:21, and then read it again. Then re-read it, and re-read it again. Know it better than anything else on earth.

Meditate on it. Learn from it. Love it. Live it. Let it grow and transform you.

Learn Obedience Early and Stop Negotiating With God

Delayed obedience is disobedience.

Modern Christianity has learned how to explain away commands. We rename sin. We appeal to nuance. We make excuses to cover non-repentance. We appeal to trauma. We appeal to process. Scripture calls us to repentance and obedience (Acts 3:19; 1 John 2:3–4).

Jesus does not ask for partial loyalty. He asks for surrender (Luke 9:23).

The earlier you learn this, the fewer scars you will carry. Obedience does not earn God’s love. It protects your life (John 14:15; Proverbs 13:13).

Make the Church Non-Negotiable

Do not fit church into your life. Build your life around it.

Make excuses to attend church, not to miss it. Shape your schedule around worship and fellowship, not the other way around. Lone Christianity is a myth. Scripture knows nothing of it (Hebrews 10:24-25).

Church is where your blind spots are exposed, your gifts are refined, and your faith is tested in community. You cannot grow in isolation (1 Corinthians 12:12-27; Proverbs 27:17).

Many people drift spiritually not because of rebellion, but because of gradual disengagement (Hebrews 2:1).

Spend most of your social time around godly friends who live out the Bible. Have a close-knit Christian circle to hang around with. There is truth to the old adage, “If you take the five people you are around most of the time, that’s who you will become.”

Get Discipled and Place Yourself Under Godly Authority

You need older believers who are allowed to speak honestly into your life.

Independence is praised in the world. But Scripture praises humility. Submit yourself to godly leadership. Sadly, discipleship is mostly gone from Western society.

One of the most important things you can do is find a more mature Christian and have them take you under their wing. Ask questions. Invite correction. Learn from those who have suffered, failed, repented, and remained faithful (Hebrews 13:7, 17).

Have coffee with them. Have dinner together. Do activities like going fishing, going bowling, playing pool, and getting involved in projects together. But also study the Bible with them. Pray together. Confess your sins to them. Talk about the deep stuff of life, and together see what God has taught them.

Pride tells young believers they will figure things out on their own. Wisdom tells them to listen (Proverbs 11:14; Proverbs 12:15).

On the flip side, when you become a more mature believer, you need to find younger or less mature believers and disciple them.

Learn Sexual Self-Control and Relational Wisdom Early

Sexual sin is never isolated. It spills into your thinking, your future relationships, your confidence, and your worship (1 Corinthians 6:18-20).

This applies to both actual, physical intercourse as well as porn. And everything in between.

Save yourself for your future spouse. That is not outdated advice. It is protective wisdom. Holiness now spares you regret later (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5; Proverbs 5:3-11).

Sexual self-control is not repression. It is mastery. Learn it while temptation is loud and opportunities are plentiful (Proverbs 25:28). And yes, stay as far away from porn and lust as you possibly can. There is nothing at all “healthy” or “normal” about it. Regard it as so dangerous and deadly that you would rather lose an eye or a limb than to indulge in it (Matthew 5:27-30) – slight exaggeration and hyperbole, yes, but almost not really!

Specific Counsel for Men and Women

Men and women face different pressures, and pretending otherwise helps no one.

For men:

Learn to understand what Interest Level is in women. Attraction cannot be forced, negotiated, or earned through niceness or letting your wife or girlfriend get her way all of the time. Chasing validation from women will weaken you. Lead with strength, clarity, self-control, purpose, joy, and restraint. A man who cannot govern his desires will not lead well in marriage or life (1 Corinthians 16:13-14; Titus 2:6).

Do not confuse attention with affection. Do not confuse opportunity with permission. Learn patience (Proverbs 4:23; James 1:19-20).

When married, love, cherish, and honor your wife, and set a Christlike example for them (Ephesians 5:22-33, 1 Peter 3:7).

For women:

Be cautious of modern feminism’s promises. It often presents itself as freedom, but frequently leads to bitterness, suspicion of men, and resistance to God’s design. Scripture does not demean women. It dignifies them. Reject ideologies that pit you against men or redefine strength as hostility (Proverbs 31:10-31; 1 Peter 3:3-4). Learn that in marriage, women must submit to their husbands (Ephesians 5:22-33, 1 Peter 3:1-7).

Guard your heart. Do not give emotional access where there is no covenant commitment (Proverbs 4:23).

Do Not Let Romance, Loneliness, or Attraction Drive Your Decisions

Loneliness makes poor decisions feel reasonable.

Marriage is not salvation. Romance is not identity. Attraction is not wisdom. Many people marry potential, excitement, or escape. That ends poorly (Jeremiah 17:9).

Choose character over chemistry. Shared faith matters more than shared hobbies. Attraction grows best in safety and trust, not chaos (2 Corinthians 6:14; Proverbs 19:2).

Find a spouse in someone who puts Jesus Christ and the authority of Scripture at the absolute center of their lives.

Learn How Money Works and Treat It as Stewardship

Money decisions made in your teens and twenties can echo for decades.

Save early. Invest patiently. Live below your means. Wealth is not the goal. Freedom is. Stewardship honors God and protects your future family (Proverbs 21:5; Luke 16:10-11).

Don’t gamble or trust an astronomical chance that you could win the lottery. Don’t oversplurge, and don’t buy items, dinners, and services you don’t need. Your friends may be living it up and (seemingly) having the time of their lives, spending and going wild with their money, but don’t let their influence and peer pressure deter you from stewarding money wisely.

Here’s one tip that you should always remember: treat your money as God’s money, because when you get right down to it, it actually is.

Scripture treats money as spiritual because it reveals priorities. Learn discipline now while your financial life is still simple (Matthew 6:19-21).

Avoid Debt and Learn to Live Below Your Means

Debt is normalized in today’s society. Your credit score is actually based on how well you manage it.

Scripture never celebrates debt and even urges against it (Proverbs 22:7).

While it’s not 100% foolproof information, most of the principles found in Dave Ramsey‘s book The Total Money Makeover are worth applying to your life. Buy a copy and study it!

Debt limits options, increases stress, and often delays generosity. Borrowing against your future to satisfy present desires is a form of presumption (Proverbs 22:7; Romans 13:8).

Don’t rack up tens (or even hundreds) or thousands in student loan debt. If you absolutely have to use a credit card, pay off the balance immediately. Save up money and use cash if you can for all purchases (with the lone exception being a home mortgage). And keep an eye on your credit score and report.

You don’t need all of the luxuries of life. Seriously, don’t give in to it. Only buy what you absolutely need.

Learn contentment. Learn patience. Learn restraint (1 Timothy 6:6-8).

Take Care of Your Body as a Stewardship Issue

You feel invincible now at age 18 or 20 or 25. You are not.

Eat sensibly. Exercise and stretch regularly. Sleep well. Don’t abuse substances. Go to your doctor regularly.

These are not vanity projects. This is proper stewardship of your body. The habits you build now will either serve you or betray you later (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). The longer you keep your bodily temple of the Holy Spirit, the longer God can potentially do through you as His vessel here on earth.

You cannot separate spiritual health from physical neglect forever (Proverbs 3:7-8).

Learn to Master Your Time and Attention

Do not waste your life scrolling, binge-watching, video gaming endlessly, or working without boundaries.

Busyness and laziness are two sides of the same coin. Both avoid intentional living (Proverbs 13:4).

Order your priorities correctly. God first. Then spouse. Then children. Then church family. Then extended biological family. Then career. Then all else. (Matthew 6:33; Ephesians 5:15-16).

Time is a moral resource. Spend it wisely (Psalm 90:12).

Stop Competing, Comparing, and Performing for Others

One story I like to tell is that I used to compete with my ex-sister-in-law many, many years ago. She and her husband used to seemingly have all the accoutrements of life. I was secretly jealous and covetous, wanting to “have it all” myself. I wondered why I couldn’t have the life that she supposedly had. Then, I later found out that she was tens of thousands in credit card debt, not to mention untold thousands in other kinds of debt.

So all of that jealousy from mem only to find out that I actually was in a much better place than her.

Young adult, let me also add that this same story is played out every single day all across the Western world, hundreds of millions of times. We are trying to impress people who are, in turn, trying to impress other people, while we all sink ourselves further into debt.

Comparison breeds pride, covetousness, or despair. All are deadly.

You were not created to impress the crowd. You were created to walk faithfully before God. Social media magnifies insecurity and distorts reality. Step back. Stop being so concerned about earthly appearances. Run your own race (Galatians 1:10; Hebrews 12:1).

Peace grows where comparison dies (Philippians 4:11-13).

Accept That Life Will Be Hard, Unpredictable, and Not Fully Under Your Control

You will never have everything figured out. Life will not unfold according to your plans.

Harsh trials will come. Disappointments will arrive unannounced. Scripture promises difficulty and tribulation, not ease (John 16:33).

These moments shape character. They deepen faith. They expose idols. Learn to go against the grain of the world and rejoice, laugh, and remain joyful because your hope is anchored beyond circumstances (James 1:2-4; Romans 8:18).

Learn and know that God is completely sovereign. You are responsible for obedience, not outcomes (Proverbs 16:9; Romans 8:28). Take things day by day, and know that God will get you through them.

Young Person – Put These Things Into Practice

None of this advice matters if it remains theory.

I believed many of these truths early. I failed to live them consistently. God was faithful anyway, but obedience would have spared me pain (Psalm 119:67).

Let truth change you. Act on it. Repent quickly. Obey steadily. Trust Christ fully (James 1:22; Philippians 2:12-3).

You will never regret taking God seriously sooner than you planned (Psalm 37:4-5).