Christian men often talk about brotherhood, but not enough of us live it out in a meaningful, structured way. We’ll say we need other men around us, but we rarely define what those relationships should look like. And most men don’t realize that the Bible actually gives us a pattern to follow. If you want to grow in Christ, fight sin well, and make disciples, you need three types of men in your life:
- A Paul
- A Barnabas
- A Timothy
Each one serves a different purpose. All are essential. Let’s walk through what this means—and why it matters so much.
1. Every Man Needs a Paul: Someone to Mentor Him
Paul was a spiritual father to many. New Testament figures like Timothy, Titus, and Silas all looked to Paul as a leader who would teach, challenge, and help them walk in obedience to the call of Christ. He said to the Corinthians, “Imitate me, as I also imitate Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1).
Most Christian men are trying to figure things out on their own. They have access to sermons, books, and podcasts, but they don’t have a godly older man investing in them regularly. We need someone who’s been through the fire. A man who’s followed Christ through suffering. A man who’s not afraid to call out your sin and push you toward growth.
- If you’re a young dad, you need a Paul who has raised his kids in the Lord.
- If you’re a new believer, you need a Paul who can help you lay a solid foundation.
- If you’re stepping into leadership, you need a Paul who’s led others faithfully for years.
Look for a man who knows Scripture, walks with integrity, and doesn’t care about being liked. He may not be flashy or loud, but he’ll care about your soul. Meet with him. Ask questions. Soak up wisdom. Don’t just learn facts—watch his life.
2. Every Man Needs a Barnabas: Someone to Walk Beside Him
Barnabas wasn’t above Paul or below him. He was a fellow apostle (Acts 14:14). He was a co-laborer. A fellow worker in the trenches. His name literally means “son of encouragement,” and that’s exactly what he was.
When Paul was still Saul and had a rough reputation, Barnabas believed in his conversion and stood up for him. Later, when Mark failed during a mission, Barnabas gave him another chance. That’s the kind of man you want beside you. Someone who encourages but also tells the truth. Someone who shows up when life gets hard.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 reminds us of this kind of friendship:
“Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.”
Do you have a brother like that? A man you can be honest with? Someone you can call at 2:00 am when the temptation is fierce and your mind is a hot mess? This isn’t just a “guy you hang out with.” This is a faithful friend who knows your struggles and points you to Christ.
Barnabas-level friendships take time. You’ve got to be willing to open up. You’ve got to be intentional. Most men don’t drift into deep friendship. They drift into isolation.
If you’re not pursuing friendships like this, you’re in danger. Satan loves isolated men. Start building that connection. Be that kind of friend for someone else, and watch what God does.
3. Every Man Needs a Timothy: Someone to Pour Into
Paul didn’t hoard what he learned. He was a mentor to others. He passed it on. He took Timothy with him, trained him, and then released him into leadership. Paul told Timothy:
“What you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses, entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also” (2 Timothy 2:2).
This is how discipleship multiplies. This is how legacies are built.
Every man—whether he’s a pastor, mechanic, or accountant—should be discipling someone younger in the faith. Not when you “feel ready,” but now. You don’t need to be a theologian. You just need to be faithful. Share what you know. Be real about your struggles. Pray together. Open the Bible together. Walk through life together.
If you wait until you’re perfect, you’ll never do it. If you think it’s only for pastors or church staff, you’re missing the point. This is basic obedience to the Great Commission.
Older men: find a younger man at church and take him out for coffee. Be willing to ask questions. Listen. Encourage. Teach.
Younger men: if no one is pouring into you yet, start looking now. And at the same time, find someone even younger than you who could use encouragement.
There’s always someone ahead of you and someone behind you.
Why This Trio Matters
This model of Paul, Barnabas, and Timothy isn’t a cute leadership triangle. It’s a practical, Spirit-led framework for spiritual growth and kingdom impact. When you have these three relationships active in your life:
- You’re being sharpened by someone wiser than you.
- You’re being encouraged by someone walking beside you.
- You’re being poured out for someone coming up behind you.
And it keeps you humble. It keeps you connected. It keeps you focused on what matters.
It also reflects the way Jesus lived. He submitted to the Father (His authority), walked closely with the Twelve (His peers), and poured into Peter, James, and John in a special way (His close disciples).
This isn’t optional. It’s essential.
Where to Start
- Pray. Ask God to show you who these men are in your life – or who they could be.
- Be intentional. Text someone. Set up a coffee meeting. Start the conversation.
- Stay consistent. These relationships won’t grow overnight. Show up regularly.
This doesn’t have to be some official, scheduled thing. It can be simple. Casual. But it has to be real. You can’t coast your way into godly community. You’ve got to pursue it.
At the end of the day, godly manhood is a team sport. No one gets sanctified in isolation. So don’t wait. Every man needs a Paul. Every man needs a Barnabas. Every man needs a Timothy.
And every man who wants to grow in Christ should start looking for all three.
One Comment
Derek Thomas
This is an amazing article with solid principles. I appreciate your clarity and biblical admonition. Great read!