Men, Stop Pretending You Can Love Christ and Cherish What Nailed Him to the Cross
Brother, if you are a man in Christ, you are called to holiness. Pornography is not a hobby you manage. It is a soul disease that eats your conscience, mocks your vows, and smears the name of your Savior. It promises pleasure and leaves you empty. It offers escape and chains you deeper. Jesus did not shed His blood to purchase men who stare at impurity in secret while pretending to walk in the light. He died to redeem a people who are pure, set apart, and zealous for good works.
Let us speak plainly. Pornography is adultery of the heart. Our Lord said, “Everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). That is not negotiable. Lust is not a joke. It is treason against the King. Porn trains the eyes to devour, not to love. It turns women into objects and turns men into slaves and hypocrites. You cannot keep a pet viper in your pocket and expect it not to strike. “Be killing sin or it will be killing you,” as Puritan John Owen wrote, echoing Romans 8:13. The Spirit leads sons of God to put sin to death. He does not lead them to coddle it.
Do not hide behind excuses. Do not say, “Everybody struggles.” Yes, every man battles with lust, but you cannot use that as a reason to continue living in it. Scripture does not shrug at sin. The apostle commands, “Flee sexual immorality” (1 Corinthians 6:18). He does not tell you to walk. He says flee. And in the next breath, Paul reminds you why: “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Every click, every image, every indulgence is either an act of worship or an act of rebellion. You were redeemed by the blood of Christ. Your eyes, your hands, your thoughts—they belong to Him now. Use them to glorify your Redeemer, not to grieve His Spirit.
Pornography is idolatry dressed up as entertainment. It demands sacrifices of time, money, and integrity. It promises worshipers a god who always says yes, who never confronts, who never calls you to die to yourself. That is not the true God. The living God commands you to be holy as He is holy. He commands husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. He commands single men to keep their bodies pure and to treat all women as sisters with absolute purity (1 Timothy 5:2). Pornography shatters all of this. It hardens the heart, darkens the mind, and numbs the soul to the beauty of Christ. It does not prepare a man to lead. It prepares a man to lie.
Some will say, “I have tried to stop and I cannot.” Good. Your strength cannot save you. That admission is the doorway to grace. The gospel does what your willpower cannot. Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners. He broke the power of sin at the cross and rose to give His people new hearts. If you are in Christ, you are no longer a slave to sin. You are dead to sin and alive to God (Romans 6:11). The dominion of sin has been broken. The presence of sin is being conquered. The penalty of sin is gone. Believe this, and fight on the ground of this truth.
Now hear the warning with all its weight. If you cling to your lust without repentance, if you refuse to fight, if you love darkness and hate the light, you give evidence that you do not know Him. “Do not be deceived,“ Scripture says. “The sexually immoral will not inherit the kingdom of God” (1 Corinthians 6:9-10). Repent. Repent now. Not a vague sorrow. Not a tear without a turn. Confess your sin to God with a broken heart. Confess to a faithful brother. Drag this thing into the light and starve it. The cross tells you two things. One, your sin was so vile that the Son of God had to die. God’s love is so deep that the Son of God was glad to die for you. Two, you should hate your sin because it killed your Savior. Love your Savior because He killed your sin.
Men of God must make war. Jesus said that if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out. He did not call you to harm your body. He called you to take drastic measures to protect your soul. Remove apps. Lock down devices. Use accountability software. Sleep with your phone in another room. Refuse to browse when you are tired or alone. Get a real Bible in your hands and read it out loud. Fast. Pray. Go to bed on time. Rise early to meet the Living God of the Universe. Fill your mind with the Word until your imagination is flooded and super-saturated in Scripture. Replace the soundtrack of lust with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. Do not toy with triggers. Starve them.
You will not fight long without the local church. “Lone Ranger” Christians become easy targets. You need elders who watch over your soul. You need brothers in Christ who will look you in the eye and ask hard questions. You need the Lord’s Table to strengthen your faith and remind you that you are bought with a price. You need preaching that cuts and then heals. You need to serve others so that your hands are busy with righteousness. God designed sanctification to be a community project. Pride keeps sin alive. Humility invites grace.
Husbands, you are called to lead your homes. Do not bring filth into the holy place. Your marriage is a picture of Christ and the church. Pornography is a stain on that picture. Repent and confess to your wife with honesty and humility. Seek counsel. Pursue her heart with patience and tenderness. Pray with her. Guard your home like a shepherd who loves his flock. Single men, your present purity is the preparation for future faithfulness. Do not say you will be pure later. Holiness grows by practice, not by procrastination.
And now the hope that sin cannot swallow. “Christ saves to the uttermost those who draw near to God through Him, because He always lives to make intercession for them” (Hebrews 7:25). The One who washed you is the One who keeps you. The Spirit who exposed your sin will empower your obedience. The Father who disciplines you is the Father who delights to restore you. Where sin increased, grace abounded all the more, not as permission to sin, but as power to walk in newness of life.
Brother, rise. You do not have to live in the shadows. The blood of Jesus cleanses us from all sin. Walk into the light. Today can be a turning point that becomes a new pattern. Confess. Repent. Believe. Obey. Join arms with other men. Fill your mind with Scripture. Put your eyes on the beauty of Christ until lesser beauties lose their grip. The war is real, but the Captain of your salvation has already triumphed. In Him you can be free, you can be clean, you can be a man who looks like Jesus.
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