Day 6 – Winning Back Her Heart, God’s Way Devo Series: Guarding Against Adultery

Day 6 – Guarding Against Adultery

Scripture

“How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word.”

Psalm 119:9

Introduction

Few things destroy a man’s life faster than adultery. It doesn’t start with the act. It starts with a slow drift of the heart. When your wife’s interest level drops, when your marriage feels cold or distant, when you feel unseen or disrespected—that is when temptation quietly sets its trap. Satan knows he doesn’t need to make you instantly fall; he only needs to make you look twice.

You must decide long before that moment of temptation what kind of man you are going to be. As a follower of Christ, your purity is not optional. It’s a reflection of your loyalty to God. Proverbs 6:32 says, “He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself.” God warns us not because He’s trying to rob us of pleasure, but because He loves us enough to keep us from destruction.

The Subtle Descent

Adultery rarely starts with physical attraction. It begins with neglect, when a husband or wife stops tending to the heart of their marriage. Maybe you stopped pursuing your wife emotionally. Maybe she began showing coldness or disrespect. Slowly, both hearts drift apart. Then, out of loneliness or frustration, a man begins to crave validation—a compliment from a coworker, a private message from an old female friend, or an image online.

This is where most affairs begin—in a thought, not a bedroom. James 1:14–15 says, “Each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin.” The battlefield is your mind. The moment you let your thoughts wander, you’ve already opened the door for sin to walk in.

To clarify, there are two main kinds of affairs: emotional and physical. An emotional affair happens when a man forms a secret or inappropriate emotional connection with another woman, such as sharing private thoughts, feelings, or affection that belong only to his wife. This can happen over text, phone calls, or face-to-face convos. A physical affair takes those desires further into physical/sexual activity or intimacy. Make absolutely no mistake about it: both are sin. Jesus made this unmistakably clear when He said, “Everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). Whether it happens in your imagination, at a pic on your phone, or in person in a hotel room, both betray your covenant before God and your wife.

The Cycle of Dissatisfaction

In my book Warrior Disciple, this cycle is clearly laid out: a man stops leading well, the wife’s Interest Level drops, emotional connection fades, and both turn elsewhere for fulfillment. He looks for excitement, respect, and attention; she looks for affection and strength. Both lose sight of Christ.

That is why the vast majority of adultery cases happen. Sadly, it’s repeated over and over again thousands of times each day.

Brothers, guard your heart. Don’t let spiritual neglect become the fuel for temptation. When your wife’s Interest Level dips, that’s not your cue to find someone else. Instead, that’s your signal to humble yourself, take responsibility, and rebuild the relationship through Jesus Christ. You can’t fix everything overnight, but you can immediately cut off the roots of temptation.

Here’s how:

How to Guard Your Heart and Marriage

1. Cut Off Access to Temptation. Delete the numbers. Block the accounts. Remove the photos. Set filters on every device. Guarding your purity doesn’t make you paranoid. It makes you wise.
2. Keep Short Accounts with God. Confess sin quickly. Don’t let guilt linger or shame fester. 1 John 1:9 promises that “if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive.”
3. Be Transparent with Your Wife. Let her know where you struggle. Honesty restores connection. Secrecy destroys it.
4. Stay Spiritually Fed. A man starving spiritually will seek to feed his flesh. Read Scripture daily. Pray earnestly. Worship deeply.
5. Guard Your Eyes. Job said, “I have made a covenant with my eyes; how then could I gaze at a virgin?” (Job 31:1). Make that same covenant.

The Power of Accountability

Every godly man needs at least one other man who knows his weaknesses and checks in on him. Confess your struggles, don’t conceal them. James 5:16 says, “Therefore confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.”

If you lead a men’s group, model this transparency. When other men see you walking in the light, they’ll realize purity is not about perfection, but about persistence and repentance.

Redemption Is Still Possible

If you’ve already crossed the line, whether emotionally or physically, there is still hope. God’s grace is greater than your failure. Repent fully and end the sin immediately. Seek counsel, accountability, and forgiveness. Don’t let shame keep you from restoration. David fell hard—yet he was still called “a man after God’s own heart“ (1 Samuel 13:14) because he turned back in broken repentance (Psalm 51).

Christ restores what sin has shattered. He can rebuild your integrity, your marriage, and your witness if you will humble yourself and return to Him.

Practical Application

• Interest Level: Adultery begins when you stop guarding your wife’s interest by letting your guard down spiritually.
• The System: Stay accountable. Protect your mind. Feed your soul. Lead your home.
• Being a Challenge: True strength means turning from temptation and mastering it.
• Action over Emotion: Don’t flirt with sin; flee from it. 1 Corinthians 6:18 says, “Flee from sexual immorality.” That’s a command, not a suggestion.

Today’s Challenge

Take an honest inventory tonight. Where are you most vulnerable? Is it online? At work? After your wife goes to bed? In your thought life? Pray and make a specific plan to guard that area. Set boundaries, install safeguards, and tell a trusted brother in Christ about your commitment.

Then, pursue your wife again—not out of guilt, but out of renewed love for God. Show her that she’s worth your effort, attention, and affection. The best way to guard your heart is to give it fully to Christ and to the woman He’s given you.

Further Scripture

Proverbs 5:1–23, 1 Thessalonians 4:3–5, Matthew 5:27–28, Job 31:1, James 1:14–15, 1 Corinthians 6:18–20